my beef with bike party

i hate bike party.

it’s this bike thing they do once a month, the third friday, where a bunch of hipsters all get together and prove that san jose has just enough culture to have a thriving subculture as well. it’s strange.

now don’t get me wrong–i’m all for bikes: healthy, good for the environment, anyone with two legs can do it. i’m all about subcultures, odd as they may be (except you, LARPers). but i’m not into people who ride unsafely, endanger others, leave rubbish where they ride, and make a lot of noise.

i live about six miles from where the bike party meets (apparently this location is moving, crossing my fingers that it’s in south san jose and out of my way). on the night that there is a ride, crowds of bike hipsters clog the streets in either direction, even ride down my street hootin’ and hollerin’ their little hipster heads off. they wear black, usually without reflectors on their persons or their bikes, and NEVER with a helmet. do i need to introduce them to the pictures of dead people in bike accidents on ?

but this month is what really did it in for the bike partiers. now they are REALLY on my shit list. i have seen pictures and heard reports of people biking and drinking. fucking. stupid. immediately i looked up the california state laws regarding drinking and biking, only to find (much to my chagrin) that a marginal fine of $250 is assessed to the offending party and nothing else. as the bicycle is not considered a vehicle (unless it’s got an engine, which makes it a moped), the DMV does not get involved and neither is the offense considered a DUI.

supposedly police officers ride along with the bike party, and i guess they make way for the bikes when needed. i condemn them and the organisers of this “party” for not strictly enforcing safe riding rules such as um, not drinking and biking. perhaps they could have a special bike party license, allowing a rider admission to the party only when they show their bike has the proper reflectors and that they are sober.

until then, i hate bike party.


3 thoughts on “my beef with bike party

  1. A man rode in front of my car while chugging jack Ds not paying attention to his school age daughter
    (maybe 6 yrs) riding behind him. There were people kicking the side of my car and screaming so I was distracted and almost hit the little girl. At that point I was so overwhelmed I just put my car in park. The cops made all of the cars stop to make way for the bikes. I sat there for a half hour. BULL!

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