in idiot russia, wife controls you !

in case you missed it, today i had a very important message for someone:


in case you have NO idea what i’m saying (perhaps you can’t read russian ?) my message was this:

i hate your wife. my dear friend alexei semenov, i hate your wife. she’s a bitch. (it sounds a lot meaner in russian).

and why do i hate mrs. semenova ? well because she’s an idiot whore who took away one of my two favourite defencemen in the whole damn NHL. he played for my sharkies for the last two seasons, and he was fun to watch. fifty seven penalty minutes last year in under 30 games. he speaks my “moon language”, so i like to yell at him and nabby during games, or give them imaginary pep talks before big games i cannot attend. i sang the krokodil gena song to him on his birthday (well, in my car by myself). alexei is like an even taller russian version of my very tall non-russian friend morgan. and when i met him at a charity event for the sharks, these annoying girls were squealing at him and asking for autographs and pictures. i calmly said, “Извените, мой друг, здраствуе–фото ?” and he stopped and smiled and took a picture with me.

but after our terrible showing in the playoffs, semy’s name was removed from our roster. he wasn’t claimed by anyone all summer until a few weeks ago when he signed with the rangers, maybe my…third least favourite of the original six… oh who am i kidding, i only like the leafs and habs and sharks). but at least he was on a team, would be on my fantasy teams, and i could still see him on center ice. but then the bitch took him.

and dammit, he was one of MINE ! patty, joe, pavs, whatever. semy and seto were MINE ! i have doubts about nabby but he’s my домвек (a word i made up using the words home and boy because russian doesn’t have the term “homeboy”). goc was almost one of mine, but he was Немец, boo hoo. and it’s NOT a good time to take my boys away. the season started yesterday, i’m on medication ! jeez !

so now my mission is to find a contact with semy and at least let him know there is one little cheburashka out there who is really gonna miss her big d-man друг. пока, алюшенка. 😦


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