guys who ended up having a crappy 2010

what do all the men in this picture have in common?

they are russian.
they are hockey players.
they all came in 6th place at the 2010 winter olympics (much to the chagrin of the russian sports world, coach vyacheslav, and moi). and their 2010 sucked pretty bad.

from left to right:
bryzgalov: currently on IR with an upper body injury and the flu. his team had to sign a random backup goalie that isn’t even in the league just to cover their real backup goalie’s ass. thus, bryzzy will not dress for tomorrow’s game (but it’s just as well: i’m not there to yell at him in russian).

ilya kovalchuk: the devils blow. no other way around it. and they gave you $100 million and you gave them that horrible (hilarious! but horrible) shootout attempt in which the puck deked *you*. but you are not producing and if you weren’t russian and probably part of the mafia there, the devs would’ve called the mob on you.

nabokov: well. sharks GM doug wilson gave you your walking papers in july, you had the AUDACITY to announce your signing with CKA on my damn BIRTHDAY, and… lo and behold, you are back in san jose shopping at whole foods. technically you’re unemployed. but i love you so i don’t care 🙂

andrei markov: out for several months after an injury a month into the season. torn ACL and meniscus. my heart breaks for my dear andrei; i know how both those injuries feel. but andrei got surgery so maybe his knee won’t pop when he walks like mine does.

pavel datsyuk: i don’t like you, let’s get that straight. you’re a red wing. but you can stick handle in a phonebooth, and you appear to be some kind of prehuman, so i respect you. but you are injured now (not my problem, but shit, could you have at least waited til playoffs!?). sucks to be pavel.

okay, and secret confession time: i totally have a crush on kovy. it’s either the creepy brown eyes, the boyish looks (i want to SQUEEZE him!!), or the combination creepy eye/boyish features/sometimes bearded look featured here:

i thiiiink kovy has heterochromia, but he plays hockey so he could just have a blown pupil like dany heatley. either way, he has one pretty brown eye and one pretty black eye.

and please don’t tell nabby i think his friend is cute.

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