i am the most impatient person i know. i hate waiting, i stress myself out by over-thinking and checking, checking, and checking again. i have no idea where this behaviour stems from, nor do i know how to stop it.

a few years ago my friend jokingly said to me “all good things to those who wait”. i don’t remember if he said it to me in a hannibal lecter accent, but he probably did. it resulted in this self portrait:

my impatience has resulted in me never being able to think anything over (i rush into decisions and i’m kind of impulsive), not being able to wait for damn near anything, and i am very quick to anger: if someone annoys me, they know about it instantly. i kiss boys who take too long to kiss me. i stop the microwave before the timer goes off. basically, i act as though i can push a fast forward button on my life.

but my job more than anything else requires me to be patient. i am waiting for a promotion i may never get, but that’s the nature of the game. there are several people i work with that have very, very annoying habits and rather than snap at them and scream about how annoying they are, i bite my tongue and silently hope that they stop. i have spent most of the last seven months imploring people to wait in the queue, wait for their reservation, wait for someone to come up and help them, wait for the next update/model/colour. all of this waiting is very ironic, considering i work for one of the most innovative, fastest-changing companies in the world.

i am trying to learn. i want to be more patient because it would make things easier. no, not because it would make me be a better person, but because it would be easier.

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