the weatherman needs a theme song, and i need to you to write it

i watch the news every day. i have been doing this since i was at least ten years old; that’s the age i remember telling people i wanted to be a newscaster (that’s also the point where i realised i am–and will forever be–a huge nerd). i watched the local news and KU journalism shows online when i lived in kansas and didn’t have local channels. when i was in london i woke up early to prepare some tea and…yes, watch the news. and this hurts to confess, but oh well: i don’t watch conan now because his show is on at 11. if i had a DVR, i’d be all over it. but i don’t, so i’m sorry coney.

brian busby, pretty much the coolest weatherman ever. he plays timpani with the KC symphony, you can really tell here.

maybe because i watch every day (or because i have the world’s shortest attention span), but i always black out during the weather portion of the news. i cannot recall any of the weather forecast i watched about 35 minutes ago, other than seeing moraga on the map and thinking of @schtimpy27. the weather is pretty much the only part of the news where they predict the future. so basically, every night i tune in to watch a meteorological wizard and i black the eff out during his big finale.

so here’s what needs to happen: the weather forecast–just the part where they tell you what is going to happen tomorrow/this week–needs a theme song. i have been conditioned by 15 years of Jeopardy! viewing (are you picking up on how big of a nerdlet i was?) to rush to the television when i hear the final jeopardy song. i will haul ass from any room in the house, because i hear that song and i know what it means. i need that for the weather. if i heard the weather song, i would know to run to the television and pay attention. even if i was blacked out in a daze on my couch, that song would rouse me and alert me to the fact that it’s freaking raining in june or whatever. and though i can carry a tune (i have the cutest vintage bucket!), i cannot compose to save my life. that’s where you come in.

i need you, musicians of the world, to compose a theme for the weather forecast. it has to be about thirty seconds long (that’s approximately how long my blackouts/the magical weather predictions are) and easily distinguishable from a commercial jingle. maybe it could be dramatic for more stormy weather, twinkling and twee-pop for fair weather, and like death metal for anything over 90°F. that way, even the blind would be able to know what the weather is going to be like, in case mr. meteorologist is chatting about whatever small-town parade he’s the grand marshall of this weekend and NOT the fact that plagues of locusts are descending upon the north bay.

it's a shame the blind can't enjoy this gaffe. and poor pennsylvania...

i will present this to every local news affiliate, and if i have to, i will take this national. you will get full credit and retain all rights to your music. i cannot possibly be the only person who blacks out during the only part of the news that you *need* to know in order to face the next day. let’s make a difference.

email your weather song submissions to klyushkablog@me.com. by emailing your song to me, you give me the rights to repost it on this blog. and to help make you famous, really.

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